I wanna passion pit in your ass
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
God, I missed his penis.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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