dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
