You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I met the friendliest cop last night
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
