I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
