Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
