you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
handjob tips. give me some.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
