turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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