weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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