I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
