a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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