you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So. Much. Porn.
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