I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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