Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
