Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
