AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
why is half of my head shaved?
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