I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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