never play flip cup with pint glasses
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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