i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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