Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
