ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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