i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
