I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
