Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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