are you so shy because you have an std?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
