last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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