And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
