Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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