I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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