My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
