fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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