Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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