I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Randomize
