Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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