Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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