On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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