i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize