Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
