you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
