that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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