I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize