he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize
