Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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