this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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