Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize