Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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