You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
someone owes me an orgasm
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i now understand why vodka
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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