You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
