theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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