sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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