there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize