your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
