oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
