Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up

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  (586): I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up http://tfl.nu/t16c
  Replies (6) Good night (768) Bad night (701)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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  (774): I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me. http://tfl.nu/t4sa
  Replies (9) Good night (662) Bad night (2784)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.

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  (704): Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that. http://tfl.nu/31qd
  Replies (10) Good night (510) Bad night (4652)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  there needs to be a build-a-bong store...

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  (267): there needs to be a build-a-bong store... http://tfl.nu/zpe9
  Replies (53) Good night (9108) Bad night (921)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?

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  (256): oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me? http://tfl.nu/06bl
  Replies (20) Good night (1096) Bad night (5621)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.

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  (919): I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three. http://tfl.nu/4nlq
  Replies (8) Good night (970) Bad night (2903)
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  (530): View more from California

  I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.

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  (530): I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims. http://tfl.nu/5fbz
  Replies (7) Good night (1945) Bad night (1012)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?

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  (815): How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back? http://tfl.nu/7gwj
  Replies (5) Good night (1374) Bad night (691)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.

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  (501): I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet. http://tfl.nu/tfvj
  Replies (8) Good night (1633) Bad night (728)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.

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  (630): i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other. http://tfl.nu/01p2
  Replies (4) Good night (1349) Bad night (436)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

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  (410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f
  Replies (2) Good night (298) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?

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  (707): My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day? http://tfl.nu/zsu8
  Replies (8) Good night (359) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS

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  (315): EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS http://tfl.nu/jrog
  Replies (3) Good night (226) Bad night (657)
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  (631): View more from New York

  if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.

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  (631): if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story. http://tfl.nu/uwah
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay

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  (330): I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay http://tfl.nu/przh
  Replies (4) Good night (268) Bad night (314)

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