you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!