He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.