Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now

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  (902): i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now http://tfl.nu/uxyj
  Replies (5) Good night (799) Bad night (3421)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet

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  (954): Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet http://tfl.nu/1ehg
  Replies (14) Good night (828) Bad night (3103)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.

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  (216): The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again. http://tfl.nu/9v1i
  Replies (45) Good night (4923) Bad night (1026)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well

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  (757): I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well http://tfl.nu/14t6
  Replies (7) Good night (4487) Bad night (1276)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.

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  (785): i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love. http://tfl.nu/j8m9
  Replies (29) Good night (9673) Bad night (1492)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg

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  (509): I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg http://tfl.nu/tr8k
  Replies (6) Good night (2265) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.

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  (937): A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining. http://tfl.nu/4mc3
  Replies (16) Good night (2707) Bad night (867)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience

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  (620): We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience http://tfl.nu/dzei
  Replies (8) Good night (1810) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.

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  (918): He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough. http://tfl.nu/jcxc
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.

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  (713): Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes. http://tfl.nu/esis
  Replies (1) Good night (948) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.

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  (269): My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers. http://tfl.nu/z1x9
  Replies (6) Good night (937) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success

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  (413): The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success http://tfl.nu/ro65
  Replies (2) Good night (440) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?

  (972): View more from Texas

  This is why american education is failing

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  (469): Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover? (972): This is why american education is failing http://tfl.nu/dkmi
  Replies (4) Good night (644) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night

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  (909): I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night http://tfl.nu/8l7b
  Replies (1) Good night (236) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.

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  (804): The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me. http://tfl.nu/s0vs
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (226)

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