Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.