Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt

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  (317): I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening. (317): And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt http://tfl.nu/9n2q
  Replies (13) Good night (2066) Bad night (508)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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  (920): call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing. http://tfl.nu/ctbc
  Replies (8) Good night (724) Bad night (2865)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....

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  (859): just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese.... http://tfl.nu/man3
  Replies (41) Good night (4937) Bad night (942)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it

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  (609): you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it http://tfl.nu/ioqt
  Replies (16) Good night (5938) Bad night (662)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.

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  (904): I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once. http://tfl.nu/u86e
  Replies (71) Good night (12150) Bad night (1005)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  tonight lets celebrate not being married

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  (318): tonight lets celebrate not being married http://tfl.nu/u5lc
  Replies (19) Good night (6904) Bad night (830)
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  (209): View more from California

  We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem

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  (209): We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem http://tfl.nu/pftr
  Replies (31) Good night (3288) Bad night (1234)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.

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  (413): he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home. http://tfl.nu/1p9s
  Replies (5) Good night (844) Bad night (3420)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife

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  (802): he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife http://tfl.nu/h9mg
  Replies (9) Good night (2351) Bad night (1592)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  ...

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  (678): Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark (1-678): ... http://tfl.nu/supo
  Replies (8) Good night (1448) Bad night (661)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?

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  (724): My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's? http://tfl.nu/cp3t
  Replies (14) Good night (2510) Bad night (619)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with

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  (989): Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with http://tfl.nu/ctqs
  Replies (11) Good night (1463) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just can't deal with that sentence

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  (724): We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion (412): I just can't deal with that sentence http://tfl.nu/b4b0
  Replies (3) Good night (1727) Bad night (563)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.

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  (850): Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win. http://tfl.nu/9m9y
  Replies (1) Good night (737) Bad night (267)
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  (650): View more from California

  I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.

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  (650): I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood. http://tfl.nu/ls7g
  Replies (5) Good night (1073) Bad night (339)

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