Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.