From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
operation harelip BJ is a go
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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