I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
