I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Drake has all the answers
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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